"Mom, Dad…I’m a thespian."
*aggressively snaps while dramatically exiting stage right*
"The Bible says Adam and Eve,
not *snap snap* *jazz hands* and *dramatic leave*”
Mom: “your just going through a stage”
Me: “no mom, I’m going on stage” *strikes dramatic pose*
do you realize that it takes 3 sheep to make one sweater???? amazing i didn’t even know they could knit
my tiny worrisome asian mother strikes again (part 1)
mads mikkelsen’s micro-acting translates across all platforms - "platonic"
I hate when people mention someone in their life by their name without providing me with any context about who this person is.
“So Dylan and I went to yoga class yesterday — ”
Hold it right there. Who the fuck is Dylan. Your boyfriend? Your arch nemesis? Your brother? Your pet sea monkey? Your therapist? Your favourite fictional character? Are you on a first-name basis with your dad? Last-name basis with Bob? WHO THE FUCK IS DYLAN.
never in my life did I think that toilet doors would make me so angry
i love you chongo